the boys

poison ball (or dodge ball to us americans) is their new favorite game. we play every evening before dinner because it helps them burn off any extra energy, but seriously i cannot understand how they manage to have any left over. they do, however, and so when the day begins to cool and the shadows stretch across the garden our little green "poison"ball comes out. our garden isn't terribly big, but we at least have enough room to run from one strategic zone to another. i prefer hanging out around the clothes line, tangling myself in the drying laundry. j loves to dive behind the plum tree because it's "dark, mysterious and safe from predators", ie. little brothers out for poison ball revenge. i know the real reason though. it's because he loves to let his eyes and imagination wander to the knobby branches above and the mess of spiderwebs delicately weaving together wood, tree bark and young, green fruit. that tree and he have a very deep connection. the wee one, on the other hand, likes it all out in the open. he does not run or hide. he stands his ground and taunts relentlessly and doesn't even flinch when the ball comes near him.

so there you have it. us in a nutshell.

kitchen floor hijinks

my blackbird...or what the heart knows

friday evening just as twilight was setting upon us we noticed a sweet little blackbird in the garden. it was just sitting there under the geraniums peering out at us with its bright black eyes. probably curious, listening to the boys squeal as we ran around playing "poison ball" before heading in for our friday night pizza dinner.

those eyes were eternal. black as black and on fire. blackbirds have always stirred something in me. the darkness that is rarely allowed to see the light, it leapt forth and said, "hey! friend! i know you. have you come to give me my wings?" i think it smiled at me at that moment. oh how i wanted it to sing and carry me away on a single note. i would follow that song anywhere. but it didn't.

the next day we saw it again. at times hopping around, pecking the ground...what was it looking for? as the day went on it became clear that our garden would be the final resting place for this small, sweet creature. it was not well. why did it choose our garden? what truth was it seeking? or revealing to us?

as the day went on and grew weaker so did my brave little friend. it began to fade into the gloaming with the remaining daylight. before going into the house i refilled its bowl of water. it hopped over next to me and took a drink then hopped back to his geranium bush. he was barely a shadow.

why is it there are certain connections that we cannot explain? scarcely even endure. it almost seems cruel doesn't it? to connect, to love so thoroughly, blindly and then loose it all in an instant. what are those moments meant to reveal to us?

sometime last night he passed over. i know he went bravely through the gateway and beyond. his heart forged of earth, air, fire and water never waivered a moment. he just went.

i found him this morning...black eyes sunken, feathers dull and faded. he had flown. i carefully picked him up and wrapped him in cloth. the sage is flowering right now and the little purple flowers seemed just right for him...i thought. so i picked a handfull and placed them on the little mound of earth that held him. under his geraniums.

and tonight i thought i heard him singing

a photo


and

a happy thought.....

the world is so full
of a number
of things,
i'm sure we should all
be as happy
as kings.

RL Stevenson

an innocent game of tic tac toe

and can you

guess

who got all

his x's

in a

row?

just so's you know, i did have permission from both boys to post photos from this "unseemly" moment. in the end there were no hard feelings...just tickles in the grass.

beach!

first time ever for the boys. it was a splendidly sunny day, but the water was frigid. it's always frigid at this particular spot of open ocean. there's no shelter from the wind either. and due south from here: the antarctic!

cold! toes!

he is smitten

his pet seaweed

warm sand, cold seawater, and naked toes

The Wisdom of Water*

"Because water has such great powers of absorption and conservation it is a treasure house of innumerable secrets. The whole of the history of mankind is recorded in the rivers, lakes and oceans of the world, for everything leaves traces of its existence, and the traces of all beings, all objects and all events live on in water...

It is the supreme magic medium which permeates and impregnates the universe. If you know how to listen to a drop of water it will speak to you..."

Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov
The Mysteries of Fire and Water

you are here

* click on link

sigh


oh my dear friends, it seems that we have finally come through that long, dark winter. finally. after almost a full year of cold, dark, a little snow, some rain, and way too much wind, which all began for us last november in japan, it is spring. without a doubt. mind you melbourne weather is quite fickle so i would not be at all surprised if i woke tomorrow to find the temp down near single digits (centigrade) again. BUT, it's spring!

this morning, wait. scratch that. all week long has brought us beautiful sunny skies and warmish temps. the light everywhere is spectacular and this morning as i walked around the garden i felt as if i were in a dream. the sun, foliage and wind all came together to create a vision that i cannot describe with words so i've tried with photographs. this is what i saw. light, color, shadow and shimmer. it was one of those precious zen moments that you never want to step out of. i carried it so close to me all day. and you know, i think it's still with me.

wanting monet

and a prayer

soulboys


a happy place

the scent of yellow

enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends!

corner view wednesday

dream

i have many, but i suppose the most important, the one i keep closest is my dream of being the best parent/human/influence/guide for my children that i can possibly be at any given moment. and by best i don't mean perfect. i mean real, authentic, fearlessly ready and able to take a fall. and when i fall short i simply pick myself up and say, "hey! look what i did. i'll try to do it better this time."

that's all you can do really.

because we never outgrow falling down, do we? and it's important to let children see that because when they see you fall they watch how you pick yourself up. will it be with dignity, grace, humility or........?

i think i've mentioned this here before in another post. one of my all time favorite songs ever is row your boat. i love the simple yet beautiful message it imparts.....if gently we row then merrily we go. and yes, it really is all just a

dream

for more CV posts go here

kitchen

there are times through out the day...everyday, when the boys (including the biggest of the boys) descend upon the kitchen like ravenous raptors and really NOTHING is safe. cups overflow as they eagerly try to quench thirsts, little boys boastfully shout "look! haa! i got more than you!". little hands grab here and there in search of morsels to squelch grumbling tummies. and sometimes in the end it all leads to tears and/or fistacuffs. there never seems to be enough to go around.

inhale

after each has had enough and is ready to begin again, anew with something different or refresh that old game of chaseaway or kickball, they are out the door while i'm here. breathing. taking it all in. that moment of rush, chaos and spirit that lets me know i'm alive, in love.

exhale

yesterday...a day of firsts

the shire/city (not sure which one it is. some people call it a shire and some a city. anyway, it's the american equivalent of a county and the japanese equivalent of a ward) put on a spring festival yesterday. the theme was sustainability and so everyone was encouraged to bike, walk or take public transport. it wasn't too far form our place so we opted to walk and the boys scootered.

i participated in my first ever clothes swap and loved it. i ended up with two "new" pieces to add to my wardrobe and someone else walked away with 6 pieces from me that i scarcely ever used anymore. it was a win win situation and fun as well.

there were loads of activities such as crafting (see photo below), a farm animal petting zoo (the wee black pig had us at oink!) carnie rides (shutter. see other photo below), live music (it was out of tune, but totally from the heart and so not too bad after all), there was a cooking demo (kangaroo and wallaby meat...hmmmm???)...see! didn't i tell you? loads of stuff!

koala and bird--in that order

but i think the highlight of the day might have been when the boys had their FIRST ever taste of fairy floss. excitement ensued as you can see by the look on j's face! as did an immense sugar high. we were there for support and armed with lots of water so it was all good fun.

everything he thought it would be and MORE!

happy spring!